Evil Yet Effective Parenting

Please take note never to follow my evil examples. . .and this is one of them.

As a parent everyone knows the endless teachings of trying to teach children(or spouses however your case may be) to keep their rooms clean. There are many techniques we have tried over the years but only one has ever been as successful as this: "If you don't clean your room the bugs will come in."

Now, this technique will most likely not work for many. It just so happens I am a city slicker through and through despite the one year my mother dragged me to live in the back hills of Missouri where it was true common practice to marry your cousin. It does not matter what logic I tell myself that some woods spider is completely harmless I will at times (which I don't care to admit) squeal like a little baby pig. :( Case in point, a few nights ago when my dear sweet friend Janna dared me to go gather all the high school pictures I had and post them. Fun dare except all of my pictures and yearbooks are downstairs..where there have been 2 years of spider breeding going on and these boxes full of pictures and yearbooks and such have laid untouched by human hands. With much excitement from my new dare I opened the door down to the garage and stuck my head out to check the first few steps for anything moving. I had already retired my super human strength eyes into a container for the night so I had to use my mere mortal vision to try and catch any movement. I caught a slight movement of a web so I bent down to make sure with my mortal eyes it was just the breeze and not a crouching tiger spider awaiting me as it's prey. The web was clear but as I leaned back into the house I felt a few strands on top of my head move. As I stood up straight I spotted hanging from the vaulted ceiling at the highest point this bold brown spider descending past my forehead and continuing on his original trip to down. . . . I am embarrassed to say that I could never reproduce the sound that bellowed from within nor do I think you'd care to hear.

Paul gently mocked my reaction and reminding me how I never use to be this freaked out over a spider I most likely didn't even see. I quickly got to a point that all embarrassment went out the window and I was mad just to prove this descending spider wasn't in my head! Forget the fear now! I was going to get the yearbooks no matter what because I had to prove to myself how stupid I sound but there was noway I was going to have him thinking I was squealing over a new imaginary friend!

He got up to look for my sake of sanity. Not because I wanted him to slay my foe but to prove that there was some creature behind the door I had just shut. Paul opened the door...looked down the steps but saw nothing. Then he looked up to the highest part of the ceiling above the first step down and saw nothing. He turned to me and said, "Rust" (which he claims is a term of endearment but he only uses it when he's trying to convince me he's right which I DESPISE....not that he's right but that he refers to me as Rust. :P) "Rust, there's nothing down here." and on his last word here he took 2 steps down and walked right into the web. I smiled as I watched him try to sweep some "imaginary" rope off his face and clothes and basque in my non craziness of creating such things. Mind you I didn't deny that I wasn't crazy for reacting the way I did in the first place but I take my wins where I can get them.

So lately I've had a few encounters with large spiders and the kids have been privy to my encounters. Being their age and how I'm currently the girl's most influential role model they have picked up on this horrible trait and have expanded onto it with every dust particle that flies in the sunlight room or a simple housefly.

Well here is why I am evil. I've used the fear of bad bugs liking dirty rooms on Elie to get her to keep her room clean. I got up this morning and went to see how they were doing and noticed a paper towel on their floor that was coated in dry pickle juice. I went to pick it up in front of them and I gently reminded Elie of the rules of not eating in her bedroom. As I walked to the garbage the girls started sounding a tad frantic. Emma was saying emphatically, "BUGD! BUGD!" I went back in and sure enough, under the paper towel I had just picked up was an earwig. Having seen the creature writhe on the floor Elie finally decided I had been speaking the truth. For the past 4 days since then Elie has been FABULOUS at picking up only after asking ONCE! It's worked better than any bribery we've ever attempted to do AND BEST OF ALL? There is no whining when we ask!

I know this new found ease in parenting is temporary but think of all the good cleaning she's doing! Cleanliness is a life tool! See! She is getting something beneficial from this!